I am very fortunate to live across the street from a lake. This blessing gives me the opportunity to not only be close to water -my grounding element, but it also allows me to witness so much wildlife. In 2010, a family of Mute Swans landed for the summer. That winter, dad stayed behind with three of the kids, while mom flew back with the rest of their family. The following spring dad took the other two with him, but one boy decided to stay.
I’ve had the pleasure of watching him grow up over the years and affectionately consider him one of my animal children. Although he has had visitors overs the years, none of the swans stayed longer than a few weeks. This year though, I was happy to see that a lovely little lady stayed. It was beautiful watching him court her.
After a couple weeks, she disappeared. Initially I was worried that she flew away too, but I would occasionally see her for a short time before she’d be gone again. I started hoping that the reason she was elusive was because she was sitting on a nest. Two months passed and I began to think that maybe my little swan boy was infertile which was perhaps why the other swans left him. -After all, mute swans mate for life.
One day, I came home from work and saw the two of them swimming around the lake together. I walked over for a closer look and as she was swimming up to me, I noticed a white bump on her back. I suspected that something happened to her wing. The closer she swam, I began to realize that it was not an injury, but rather a baby!
I spent the next hour taking pictures and video of this sweet little family. My heart was ready to burst with pride as I watched this little swan paddle back and forth between his parents.
I listened to mom quietly call him back when he got too far away. I watched the little one follow dad into the lake and then witnessed him purposely swim slower so his baby could keep up.
The next day, I arrived home from work ready to do another photo shoot with a fully charged battery. I crossed the street, but I couldn’t see the baby. I stayed there for 40 minutes waiting, hoping, praying that I would see that little head pop out from under mom or dad’s wing, but it never did. Perhaps she hid the baby somewhere safe?
That weekend I saw the two of them together and still there was no baby. I was filled with so many emotions and thoughts. To console my sadness I kept telling myself that they were first-time parents and that this was a learning experience for them both. That next year, they would know better what to do. I reminded myself that nature is survival of the fittest and that I was witnessing Darwin’s theory at work. Not that it took away the emotions, but at least I could justify the loss. I started wondering if I was feeling this way, how must they be feeling? I watched the two of them swimming side-by-side, eating, preening and I was comforted that they had each other and that this loss wasn’t affecting their relationship.
As I was about to voice my disappointment to my husband, it finally dawned on me… I was projecting MY feelings and expectations onto them. As I worried about whose fault it might have been, or how they must be feeling, in reality they were just moving on. It was the law of impermanence playing out before my very eyes.
I believe that all animals have souls and feelings, and to witness the simplicity of the cycle of life and death through these regal birds and to see them move on and not get caught up in grief was a very unexpected lesson. Of course, I realize that we are way more complex beings than animals, but being someone who has dealt with anxiety caused by overthinking, I’ll be the first to admit that I was a little jealous of the simplicity with which they were able to just let go and move on.
Now, I would never want to lose the depth and complexity that I feel as a human being, but at the same time I feel so privileged to be able to pull such inspiration and an incredible lesson from our natural world.
R.I.P little swan. Though your time here was short, it was sweet. You brought joy, beauty, pride, inspiration and wonder into my life and hopefully the lives of many others. 💛
