Intuition. We all have it… that sixth sense… that gut feeling… that voice in you head that tells you to do something different then what you were planning on doing. Granted, some people’s intuition may be stronger or more developed than others but regardless it is a vital tool that shouldn’t be ignored. In fact, many even consider it a survival tool that has been passed down in our genes since our first days roaming this planet as hunters and gatherers. Today, mine was point-on, from what I can tell.
I’m on Day 5 of a mindful movement challenge and part of my commitment has been to walk more. So far, I’ve either walked in the morning before work, or on my lunch break. Today I struggled with my decision, but ultimately went against that inner voice and decided to revisit a local park to see the sunrise (similar to Monday morning).
My walk started off pretty normal, with the exception of a nagging voice telling me to let my husband know where I was in case something bad happened to me (which I ultimately did do). Now, let me preface that by disclaiming that I am not a paranoid person. Do I have a history of being an over thinker who dreams up the worst possible outcomes? Yes. But someone who lives in fear of the actions of others? No.
I took many beautiful photos this morning being mindful of my surroundings and my movements. As I walked further into the woods, my sense of unease grew, but I brushed it off and agreed that I was just scaring myself. There had been recent stories of a creepy old man asking to take pictures of women in this park, but the general consensus was that while he was creepy, he was harmless.
I pushed aside my fear as the fog grew thicker. I eventually came to a point where I knew there was a field just beyond the trees. As soon as I made that connection my unease doubled. Figuring my intuition was warning me not to be late for work, I looked down at my phone to see what time it was and how far I had gone. I decided that I would walk to the other side of the field, turn around and head back.
I stepped out into the clearing and it looked like a scene from Stranger Things. The path was surrounded by dead brush. With each step I took, I could hear rustling from startled birds. I kept trying to appreciate my surroundings as I acknowledged the sound and the source and gave thanks to the shrubs for the cover they provided in this open habitat. I watched as the fog settled against trunks of trees that had been uniformly hacked off to prevent them from growing into the electric wires above.
At this point, I was a third of the way through the clearing. With each step I took, every warning bell inside of my body was screaming… but I was so close to my finish line. I continued on for another few steps. Finally a voice inside my head said “fuck the finish line. You need to get the hell out of here RIGHT NOW.” And that’s what I did. Without any hesitation, I turned and started walking as fast as I could.
For about half a mile that voice was a non-stop warning in my head. “Don’t slow down. Don’t stop to take pictures. Don’t stop for a rest. Keep going. Get the hell out of here.” Once the voice started to die down I started seeing all the things that had looked so beautiful to me such a short time ago. They now pushed me along with a sense of urgency. When I finally got back to the main road, the feeling had subsided and I somehow knew that I was safe. I still had a quarter mile back to my car, but everything was okay. I stopped momentarily to catch my breath and snap some more photos. By the time I got back to my car, while I remember acknowledging the feeling of relief, I had pretty much forgotten the intensity of my fear from twenty minutes earlier. By the time I got home, I had forgotten it completely.
As I drank my protein shake, I flipped through my phone, enjoying the different views I had captured on my walk. As my finger swiped swiped right, the photo I had taken in the field popped up on my screen and I was instantly jolted back to that place of fear with the same intensity that I had experienced earlier. It was as if the photo had resonated with my soul and my soul was sending out the same warning. Luckily I was in the comfort and safety of my home, but it was then that I knew with every ounce of my being that whatever laid on the far side of that field, or the woods right beyond it couldn’t have been good. Once I made the connection, I felt compelled to share this story in hopes that it will encourage more people to listen to their own intuition.
I know that I have gone against my intuition in the past and I’ve seen what results from it. I consider myself to be a pretty aware person in touch with her spirituality, and pretty good at recognizing signs from my guides/angels and higher-self. It scares me to think that if I’ve gone through life sometimes ignoring, or brushing off that intuition, that others probably have as well. I talked to my friend later today about knowing the difference between paranoia and intuition. It’s a very fine line, and it’s a topic I don’t have the answer to. But I can say with certainty that when that little voice in your head keeps getting louder and louder and eventually starts cursing at you? You better listen.
Thanks for your blog, nice to read. Do not stop.